Esteemed Competition

It has come to our attention that there is another site out there in the blogosphere dealing exclusively with the subject of the Real World / Road Rules Challenge. Dave Jacoby, the man dubbed the Czar of Reality TV by no less an authority than Bill Simmons, has his site over at http://therealworldroadrules.blogspot.com/ While the name is inferior to the 4th Major Sport, in every other way Jacoby's blog, we must admit, is superior. Of course, it should be noted that Jacoby actually works in media, whereas the humble contributors to the 4th Major Sport are decidedly amateur in all areas except spirit. Anyway, we thought in the spirit of full disclosure that we should provide you, our miniscule readership, with an alternate source for your Challenge info. craving.

Most Overrated RW/RR Challenge Members of All Time

We haven’t updated in a while. We will do better. We are still reeling from Cohutta beating Wes! To say this was a shock was like saying opposable thumbs have had a marginal influence on mankinds evolutionary ascendancy--an understatement and a half. To date, all Cohutta has ever done is been (perhaps) the most likeable Real World alum since Jamie from New Orleans (though Iraq vet from Brooklyn is an up and comer--but he needs to do some challenges to cement it). Now, he is officially a candidate for Next Great One status. He beat his ex-girlfriends meaty, arrogant boyfriend in a competition that, if it was a College Football game, would have been off the board in Vegas.

However, we got to thinking around the 4MJ offices and thought, if Cohutta is was underrated and is now properly rated, who is the most overrated cast member? Despite the fact that these people keep losing year in and year out, they still somehow think they are worthy of 1) being on the Challenge 2) are either “great competitors” or “have a lot of heart.” They are wrong

(in no particular order)

Adam: Adam is weak and small and repeatedly talks about his speed. Challenges are not track meets; unless you count running away from someone in a onesie (and we do). Despite being a veteran, Adam has refused to take PED’s to up his game, and that lack of commitment deserves scorn. Furthermore, Adam is officially CT’s bitch. You can’t be a bitch and consider yourself one of the best. Illogical.

Diem: Can you squander goodwill faster than Diem did? Only Jon Gosselin fell out of public favor faster. Originally Derrick’s inspiration, Diem hitched up with a nut bag, got into remission, and somehow lost athletic ability. Now that might be insensitive, but unless the Challenges involve hair flips, she’s losing.

Katie: Only female rival for crazy is Brooke. Only! Flies off the handle, chain smokes, and couldn’t run under a 10 minute mile if she were in a Saw sequel for her life. Also, gave us a HOF funny moment when she mentioned how she looks forward to marriage and starting a family. Remember kids, you don’t have to pass a test to reproduce. Say what you will about the People’s Republic of China, but they have some smart ideas (just sayin’)

Beth: Accepted the villain role right away. Made herself a household name with a genius “person everyone loves to hate” PR campaign. Fat. Old. Nothing else to say here.

Dunbar: Letdown city. Hasn’t done anything to date in the Challenges other than teach Kim about “techniques.” A giant meat head who was sexually assaulted as a child...why is he not an American version of Evan. Apparently for Dunbar, its all between the ears (or isn’t as it were). Lot of season left though and he could get out of this column if he wants.

MJ: Bought Nsync Justin Timberlake’s hair and started lifting. Came back on the last challenge to make money for his family and daughter and failed. Way to go. No college for Bella.

Robin: See Beth section, but she was once hot.

Julie: Mormon from New Orleans Real World who almost killed Veronica. No one remembers this, but Julie almost killed someone. In a (poorly conceived) challenge two competitors were connected to horizontal wire running between buildings and had to get the other off the wire to win. When they were knocked off, the loser was to fall many stories downward still connected to a harness and cable. When Julie competed against Veroncia, she decided to try and unhook the harness holding Veronica in mid-air rather than switch that was suppose to be the target of the game. If you ever wanted to see Dave Mirra not react to someone near death, see here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_ng5-QUqC8. [Also, see the Miz cameo to see what greatness looks like]. Why is Julie overrated then? Cause that was her competition highlight, a draw against Veronica.

(Now in order)

#1: Coral: Coral has been carried to victories in challenges only because of her friendships/partnerships with the two greatest Challenge players of all time: Miz and Evan. I could be a forward in the NBA if I played with Steve Nash. Certianly, associating yourself with greatness is a smart move. But, she has no speed because of her massive breasts, she constantly gets injured, yet she considers it a birthright to keep advancing. The female Terrell Owens. All talk, no results. The worst kind of overrated.

Oops

The 4th Major Sport humbly apologizes for the dearth of posts since the Ruins premiere. It seems that the powers-that-be have decided that it is high time for me to return to being a "legitimate" law student. Needless to say I have spent entirely too many 14 hour days at school lately. Also getting in the way was a brief excursion to Lexington, Va., the spiritual home of our blog. 'Twas on the pool deck that I learned that apparently we are attracting readers beyond the 5 participants in the fantasy league. Welcome! All who love The Challenge are welcome here. Except the girl I was dancing with last Saturday night at the Lodge. I think you may have been a freshman and/or born in the 1990s. Please don't attempt to contact me.

Excuses aside, the dramatic events of week 2 demand reflection. It seemed that the Champions team was slowly but surely coming to a common-sense conclusion that the man-beast that is Wes would be preferable as an ally rather than an enemy. It escapes me how they could have ever thought otherwise, considering that (a) he could quite literally rip all of their arms off, and (b) IT'S A TEAM FINAL. The whole point of the competition is not to see which individual is still standing at the end, but which team is better, the Champions or the Challengers. On paper it would of course appear that the Champions should win in a waltz, but stranger things have happened on The Challenge (see Eric's collapse in the final of Gauntlet 2 leading to the shocking Rookie upset).

Perhaps the problem is that it's been so long since there's been a team format to any of these seasons that the players still conceive the competition as every man for himself. More likely is that their vodka-soaked brains are operating at about 15% capacity. At any rate, the scheme hatched by Johnny Bananas early in episode 2 was the stuff of legend, perhaps even overshadowing his deviousness on The Island. For those who might have missed it, he decided that Wes was a liability rather than an asset. He also noted that Wes is currently attached to the formerly-lovely-but-now-far-too-augmented-and-crazy KellyAnne, a member of...the other team. Connecting the dots, Bananas came to believe that if KellyAnne were eliminated, Wes would be out of allies, become depressed, and be easier to get rid of. Brilliant, right?

It was, until he concluded that the lady to assign the elimination of KellyAnne to was none other than Ev. This could go down as perhaps the stupidest decision in the history of The Challenge, if not in the entire history of mankind (OK, so that may have been hyperbole, but then again, Barack Obama just won the Nobel Peace Prize for little more than buying a Portuguese Water Dog). Doesn't EVERYONE know that KellyAnne and Ev are thick as thieves? How did Johnny Bananas think that Ev would be OK with eliminating her BFF? They became friends on The Island - for pete's sake, that was the season that Johnny won! Yet somehow he failed to anticipate the aftermath of this colossal blunder. To paraphrase Michael Wilbon, Old Man Alchol is undefeated.

What happened next was obvious: The high-strung and emotional Ev instantly reverted from team player to Johnny-hater and team saboteur. The only question was how she would hatch her plan to bring down the Champions. Would she give her all in the elimination, defeat her BFF KellyAnne, and stay in the game so as to destroy her team's chances from the inside? Or would she quit and thereby hurt her team by leveling the playing field for the benefit of the Challengers?

During the elimination round it seemed early on as if Ev herself didn't know. She did beat KellyAnne twice in the best-of-five format, taking the Shadow-Fighter competition down to the end. Yet for the final round Ev simply stepped off the platform, sacrificing herself and allowing KellyAnne to stay in the game. By far the most dominant player across the gender divide, she shall not be returning.

Earlier, Wes chose the opposite strategy and absolutely PWN3D the still-mysterious Nick, literally ripping his frail torso off the platform three times in rapid succession. Hey Wes, Jose Canseco called, he wants to write a book on you. The Champion men trembled in fear when exposed to this sight, aware of the awesome power that radiates from Wes' HGH-infused body. Needless to say, tensions were high as the episode closed.

It remains to be seen how these events will affect the final outcome of The Ruins, but their impact on the fantasy season has already been dramatic. 4th Major Sport contributor Clark had selected Ev with the first pick of the female side of the draft, and all participants were in agreement that she was the only legitimate choice. Yet after accumulating just 2 weeks worth of points for his squad, she is gone and replaced with...Sarah, the tattooed hairdresser from Brooklyn. This is quite possibly the most devastating loss since Michael Jordan decided to play baseball. Clark's team will have to significantly step things up in the weeks to come if he wants to remain competitive for the championship belt.

With that said, enjoy tonight's episode!

Reed's Week 1 Running Diary

Good evening and welcome to the season premiere of The Ruins! The episode starts with the castmembers giving the producers their thoughts on returning to the Challenge. Some highlights…

• Adam says the fight with CT was the biggest mistake of his life. Yeah, except for going on this ridiculous show to begin with.
• Shauvon announces that she has big boobs. America rolls its collective eyes.
• Danny stuns us by noting that Wes is now dating KellyAnne. Wha-wha-whaaaaaa? I can’t believe I didn’t know this already. Bad form on my part. This just confirms that these people all travel in one tiny, bizarre universe where all they do is work out and drink with college kids for a living.
• Wes in turn declares that his whole reason for competing this year was to screw things up between him, KellyAnne, Kenny, Cohutta, and Johanna. At last, a love pentagon!
  TJ then spells out the teams and the rules. Love the concept of stealing the money from the person that you face off in the ruins. My roommate Brett remarks that this is basically a rip-off of The Highlander. Frankly, this is the smartest thing he’s ever said, and I do NOT mean that as an insult.

The opening montage follows. It is a tremendous disappointment following the masterpiece that was the Haka chant we came to know and love in The Duel 2. Then again, The Godfather 3 would’ve been regarded as decent had it not followed Godfather 1 and 2.

Katie announces that she’s back because she just got engaged, and the best way to start a marriage is with a bunch of money. Some people might say that spending time with your loved one is more important, but we’re glad to see that Katie has her head squarely on her shoulders.

Uh-oh, dissention in the Champions ranks – apparently everyone hates Wes, because he thinks he’s the shit. Did he know that he was our preseason pick to win it all? There seems to be a rivalry brewing already between him and Evan. Seriously, fellas, just pull them out and see who’s bigger.

Tonya: Vomiting on night 1! Frankly, we’ve come to expect nothing less.

KellyAnne declares that if she and Wes can “get through this with 2 of our serious exes here and everyone hating us, we’re golden!” Yeah, your winnings should set you up for life, you won’t have any worries from here on out.

After the break, the Champions settle on a method of picking Ruins nominees. Evan suggests a majority vote, whereas Wes prefers drawing names from a hat. The rest of the team sides with Evan, which ticks Wes off. Veronica later says that Wes has a small d*ck. I'm choosing to believe she has actual knowledge of this because of an orgy.

Shauvon doesn’t know what people think about her. Most likely this is because the massive boobs are robbing her brain of blood supply.

Tonya ADMITS that she’s “slightly unstable.” This is a little like Fat Albert saying he’s put on a few pounds. When the others start making fun of Walla Walla, Washington, Tonya’s new residence, she starts bitching about them taking shots at her “personal life.” Did she name the town or something? Sadly, she doesn’t start a fight with Ev. Syrus and Adam set her straight.

Diem in the PM says she “loves to compete.” In hair-flipping contests, maybe. But we’ve rarely seen her step up and beat anyone in a significant way.

Hmmmm, Ev is reaching out to Wes. Is this because of her friendship with KellyAnne, or because she admires anyone who’s as full of themselves as she is? Wes then attempts to get everyone to think he’ll throw the forthcoming team challenge.

Challenge time!!! Evidently the Ruins nominees are picked before the challenge. We here at the 4th Major Sport did not expect this.

• Challenger Ladies: Diem in the PM, Sarah, and Shauvon
• Challenger Men: Chet, Cohutta, and Nick
• Champion Ladies: Johanna, Tonya and Suzie
• Champion Men: Kenny, Darrell, and Wes

The Challenge involves climbing up a rope to a platform and ringing a gong. But only 1 player on a team can climb at 1 time – everyone else is hanging on the rope until the gong rings. Most people wins – time is only a tiebreaker.

Oh, good grief, Diem in the PM thinks she’s a team leader…this is a bad omen for the Challengers.

Dunbar won’t win the chivalrous act of the year award…he drops Shauvon into the water rather than lift her up. Classy!

When the Champions start their turn, they still don’t think Wes is serious about throwing the challenge. But then he starts shaking the rope and trying to knock them all off! This guy has clearly gone off the deep end. Not surpisingly, he knocks Ibis off…but since she was above him, the rules say he’s out, too. Thus ends his efforts at sabotage.

Susie says the guys are throwing the girls up the rope. That’s what HGH will do for ya! Unfortunately, Katie is proving to be a hindrance. Seriously, how did this girl ever win one of these things? This is why we need MTV Classic, so we can review the tapes. Until then it’s a mystery.

Both teams put 12 on the platform, so time decides. Not surprisingly, the Champs dominated. On paper this looks like a bigger mismatch than the Veterans vs. the Rookies in The Gauntlet III. Of course, that was the Challenge that proved that every team has its fatal flaw...and eerily foreshadowed the Giants beating the Pats in Super Bowl XL.

Uh-oh, Darrell is insinuating that KellyAnne has slept with every man in the house to get under Wes’ skin. He also says that you can’t turn a ‘ho into a housewife. KellyAnne then lists everyone whom she has fooled around with, and while it’s not clear who all she mentions, it definitely goes beyond Cohutta and Wes. Nice! Wes thinks Darrell is attempting to goad him into a fight so that he’d get sent home…and holy mackerel, there they go! It’s a mutually consented-to fight! Sadly the commercial kicks in, leading to the longest 3 minutes of the night.

After the break, it really looks like this thing’s gonna go down…until Darrell backs out. He tries to play it off like he’s just waiting to fight another time, but come on, that was a cop out.
Deliberations commence for who’s going to the Ruins. It appears that the winning team picks not just who goes in from the OTHER team, but from THEIR team as well. This was not clear in the preseason press release! We at the 4th Major Sport apologize for failing to dig up this detail for the season preview. In an unmitigated disaster for my fantasy purposes, the women’s battle will be between Tonya and Diem, both of whom are on my team. CRAP.

Wes plays it off like he’s volunteering, but he would have been put in anyway. The team first allows him to pick, but when he picks Chet, they backslide. Why? Because they want him to lose, of course! Yet they settle on Chet anyway, somehow believing that he’s got a better shot at taking out Wes than Nick or Cohutta. Apparently they weren’t paying attention earlier when he was wearing a purple bow tie with a t-shirt.

Tonya, wisely, prepares for the matchup against Diem by…getting drunk! Only on the Challenge do so-called “athletes” brag about their abilities while binge-drinking and chain-smoking, and that’s why I love it.

Chet tells Tonya that “I don’t really know you, but you’re a great person.” Clearly, the second half of that sentence has never been said to her without the first half preceding it.
Love that all the challenger ladies are wearing purple to support Chet! It’s the world’s first purple-out! The Penn State students would be proud. Chet apparently has decided to follow the example of Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens and wear the bow tie AT ALL TIMES.
The Ruins round involves building a ladder with bamboo, climbing up, and ringing a gong.

Stunningly, the speed element appears to be favoring Chet when the commercial break comes. The bamboo keeps falling off the hooks, making things tricky. The pace slows, and Wes’ experience takes over. While Chet makes a valiant effort, Wes is able to ring his gong first and keep the $1400 in his bank account. Chet takes his bow tie and goes home. Meanwhile Kenny announces that they’ll put Wes in every week until he loses. That should make things interesting.

Girls matchup time! Consensus is that the still hung-over Tonya has little to no chance, but she jumps out to the early lead. Diem declares that she will not let herself lose. Tonya exhibits admirable self-awareness by saying that the challenge concept is so simple that “even Tonya can get this!” The race is neck and neck (at least thanks to the magic of editing) when Tonya rings her gong, sending Diem home. So sad, I actually like Diem.

The episode closes with the Champions confirming that they are united against Wes. This is pretty shocking, frankly, since the final challenge is a team event. Have none of them seen this guy before? We’ll see how this rift affects their chances as the season progresses. Until next time!

Fantasy Challenge

We here at 4MS have developed (from what we know) the first legitimate RW/RR Fantasy League. For the value of society we need to share this with the world:

Here's what we got for rules:

Separate drafts for men and women.
Draft order is reversed for each draft. Fantasy style so that person who picks last in the first round, picks first in the second round.
Five participants; each pick 2 men and 2 women.
If contestant eliminated early on, they can pick from those remaining (of the same gender) that are not taken to compensate for the fact that some people never make it very far (See: Brooke).
However, if there are no more "free agent" contestants left over when your person is eliminated then your team is down a person for the remainder of the season.

Winning a challenge (+15)

Winning a duel/gauntlet/whathaveyou (+25)

Winning it all (+80)

Hitting someone in the face (that fat Puerto Rican girls punch on Beth that one time) (+25)

Getting in a MEGA-fight (blood must be drawn in sufficient amounts) (+80)

Getting into a yelling match (+10)

Implied sexual congress (+40)

Same sex relations (kisses count) for a person not necessarily of that persuasion. (+30)

Female Crying. (+10)

Straight Male Crying (+30)

Gay Male Crying (+20)

Being racist or sexist (+15)

Threesome (+30)

Doing something transcendently funny (Evan chasing the Sheep; will be voted on by group) (+10)

“$hit they should have shown” counts.

Rules-amending votes can be proposed during the season to account for the uncertainty in the structure of the competition. All amendments to be adopted by supermajority.

The Teams Are as Follows:

Clark’s Team (aka Team Wishes the Miz was still around): Brad, Kenny, Ev (first female pick), Casey

Erin’s Team (aka Team Come on Be My Baby Tonight): Dunbar, Wes(first male pick), Johanna, Veronica

Tom’s Team (aka Team “Let’s Not Get Ghetto”): Danny, Evan, Ibis, Kim

Cail’s Team (aka Team “Don’t you ever talk to me like that EVER AGAIN@!#@!”): Cohutta, Darrell, Kelly Anne, Susie

Reed’s Team (aka Team Running from a Fight in a Onesie): Derrick, Johnny, Tonya, Diem [both in the PM and otherwise]

Breakdown

The questions that will decide the season are plentiful.

Will any of the old guard (Derrick, Darrell, Susie, Veronica) be able to keep up with the young guns? The only way age helps during this competition seems to be during the traditional first few weeks of eliminating all the new kids. Yet, with the--shall we say--liberal drug testing policy of this competition, perhaps the old guard can usurp one of the top dogs.

With no CT (from what we imagine are insurance concerns), there seems to be a less than 20% chance anyone gets kicked off this season; however, we have no doubt that to what extent the Wes/Johann/Kenny dynamic results in yell fights, real fights, mega-fights will have a huge impact on scoring.

How sexist can Johnny be?

Will competitions like the Spelling Bee from last season become the norm? If the Challenge is becoming more of an intellectual competition and less of a physical one, who’s team will gain the edge and sit on the championship thron. (or is it throne?)

Who will surprise us? Last year Kim beat Ruthie in a Duel, resulting in (according to Wikipedia) the first time in the history of mankind a blonde, southern jezebel who openly talks about her sex life on camera beat a scary rapper who is a former alcoholic in a fight. Spoiler picks could include Danny (a roughneck Boston kid who has probably been on a cycle or two but has never shown anything in the Challenge) and Dunbar (thick like a fullback, dumb as a rock).

Will Tonya and Veronica be the Tonya and Veroncie of old? Both these women went early in the draft due to the strength of their resumes. Not for the competition, but instead their resumes of sexual proclivity and getting into fights about nothing at all. However, both have missed Challenges since their last appearances. Have they settled down? Found a significant other? Got a real job thats NOT soft core pornography? We shall see.

Which undrafted player will be a sleeper? Adam has been known to get in a fight and is cagey veteran. Katie is nuts. Brianna is more nuts than Katie. Chet may finally come out on national television. Shauvon hooks up on roofs. Really, the Free Agents out there have tremendous potential and missing out on one of them or picking them up off the wire could make or break this years fantasy league.

While there are more questions (how much will Diem cry? Who will Casey not get naked for? Can Darrell still go under the radar?) we can not speak on all of them here. Hopefully 4MS will be able to provide a breakdown of tonights show later this week.

In the meantime, enjoy the game!

Who's Who in "The Ruins"

The Champions (* denotes Challenges won)

Evelyn
Original Season: Fresh Meat
Previous Challenges: Fresh Meat, The Inferno 3*, The Gauntlet III, The Island*
This militant lesbian has to be the most feared woman in Challenge history, probably because the other girls think that she’ll beat them up once the cameras are turned the other way. Her debut on Fresh Meat was inauspicious; she and Danny were the first couple eliminated. However, since that time she has dominated, reaching the end of all the other challenges she has participated in and winning 2. Evelyn is a cold hearted bitch who loves money and nothing else, and will not let anything get in her way, be it Eric’s continued existence on this planet or her tremendous hatred for Johnny Bananas.
Prediction: Evelyn makes it to the final but burns at least a dozen bridges along the way.

Ibis
Original Season: Road Rules X-Treme
Previous Challenges: The Gauntlet 2*
To call Ibis a veteran would be a bit of an exaggeration; while she was on the winning squad of The Gauntlet 2, that was her first career challenge and the jury’s still out as to her ability. MTV says she recently earned a Masters, so her book smarts are evident. What remains to be seen is why she came back to the Challenge when she could have gotten a real job.

Prediction: An early return to academia.

Katie
Original Season: Road Rules The Quest
Previous Challenges: The Gauntlet, The Inferno*, Battle of the Sexes 2, The Gauntlet 2, Fresh Meat, The Gauntlet III, The Duel 2
Ohhh, Katie. Tied with Derrick, Tonya and Veronica for the most previous challenges under her belt, Katie is still better known for being a total nutbar than for actually winning. I was shocked to see her on the Champions squad; I expect even she forgot that she won The Inferno 5 years ago. Katie’s limited athletic ability and fondness for smoking tend to lead to a weak reputation among the girls, but she always seems to sneak in at least 1 surprising victory before bowing out.

Prediction: At least 1 drunken wrestling match.

Johanna
Original Season: Real World Austin
Previous Challenges: Fresh Meat, The Gauntlet 3*, The Island
Johanna seemed like a pretty nice girl when she was first introduced to us as part of the Real World Austin cast. But on The Island she proved herself to be a cunning player, albeit one without a trace of athletic ability. Newly free from her short-lived engagement with Wes, Johanna parlayed a budding relationship with Kenny into a role in he and Johnny’s alliance that didn’t require her to do anything but look good. Of course, it didn’t work out in the end as the fellas decided they’d rather put Ev in their boat and, you know, win, but Johanna still managed to make it to the end. We’ll see if she can spin a similar plan this year.

Prediction: A HUGE fight with Wes.

Susie
Original Season: Road Rules Down Under
Previous Challenges: Extreme Challenge, The Gauntlet 2*, The Inferno 3
I like Susie because she was on the same season of Road Rules as the indomitable “Piggie.” That said, her Challenge reputation is lacking even after 3 previous seasons. Susie evidently has returned to the books to earn a PhD in religion. And what draws grad students out of their ivory towers? Cash and booze, which The Ruins should have plenty of both of.

Prediction: A dark horse to make the final – Susie has never been eliminated early.

Tonya
Original Season: Real World Chicago
Previous Challenges: Battle of the Sexes, The Gauntlet, Battle of the Sexes 2, The Inferno II, Fresh Meat, The Inferno 3*, The Island
The question had been brewing for years: Which Real World alumna would be the first to enter the world of soft-core porn? Already the odds-on favorite, Tonya became the barrier-breaker in 2007 when she appeared in an episode of “The Erotic Traveler,” one of Cinemax’s finest pieces of original programming. While her career certainly peaked with that performance, it was far from Tonya’s only outrageous moment. She has swiftly stepped into the void left by Beth’s apparent retirement and become “the girl that everyone hates before they even get to the house.” No doubt Tonya will provide us with plenty of fireworks in The Ruins.

Prediction: Okay, so this might be cheating a little because it’s in the trailer…but Tonya will apparently pop one of her breast implants during a challenge. Seriously, how is this not the #1 show on TV?

Veronica
Original Season: Road Rules Semester at Sea
Previous Challenges: Challenge 2000*, Battle of the Seasons, Battle of the Sexes, The Gauntlet*, The Inferno*, Battle of the Sexes II, The Inferno II
Veronica’s greatest contribution to The Challenge has to have been inventing the concept of “I’ve been in a bunch of challenges and you haven’t, so you need to respect and fear me even though I’ve never actually demonstrated any athletic ability.” Coral may have perfected this move, but you have to give Veronica credit for coming up with it. Yet despite competing in a TON of Challenges in the early years, Veronica has been absent for some time. Will she be able to make a return to form? Or will she attempt to coast by on her reputation and not actually DO anything?

Prediction: Eliminated early by people who, she is shocked to find, don't know who she is.

Darell
Original Season:
Previous Challenges: The Gauntlet*, The Inferno*, The Inferno II*, Fresh Meat*

Darell is, remarkably, the only player to have never LOST a Challenge. That's right, each and every time he's entered the competition, he's walked away a winner. Yet somehow he flies under the radar each season. His ability to avoid the drama and focus on the game has served him well in the past; will it keep him out of The Ruins?

Prediction: Will eliminate more Challengers than any other member of the Champions team.

Derrick
Original Season: Road Rules X-Treme
Previous Challenges: Battle of the Sexes 2, The Inferno II, The Gauntlet 2, Fresh Meat, The Duel, The Inferno 3*, The Island*
The Eric Vendt of The Challenge, Derrick went years without even making a final before finally reaching the top. Small in stature yet ferocious, Derrick is arguably the player that the men most fear getting into a 1-on-1 elimination with, because he NEVER QUITS. What’s more, he plays the game with honor, refusing to stoop to the level of also-rans like Johnny Bananas, his boatmate on The Island. People go out of their way to praise his abilities, but is time beginning to pass this veteran by?

Prediction: Another season of domination.

Evan
Original Season: Fresh Meat
Previous Challenges: Fresh Meat
This Canadian Man-Beast finally broke through in The Duel 2 after several seasons of dissapointment. Evan had long been viewed as the man to beat, ever since he and Coral dominated the early rounds of Fresh Meat. But various untimely injuries and small mental errors kept him from the victory stand. However, it all came together in New Zealand as he was able to take a split-second victory over Brad in the final to claim $100,000 - truly, it was reminiscent of the 1976 1500m Free final between Brian Goodell, Bobby Hackett and Steven Holland, aka the Greatest Race of All-Time. Despite previous declarations that he was moving on from The Challenge, Evan has returned for another run at the top.
Prediction: Your winner.

Johnny Bananas
Original Season: Real World Key West
Previous Challenges: The Duel, The Inferno 3, The Gauntlet III, The Island*
Ohhhhh, Johnny! This guy came off as a decent human being in Key West; not an easy thing to do on the Real World. Of course, he may have benefitted from living with the hilarious but quite possibly evil Tyler Duckworth. But when CT decided that Johnny would serve as his sacrificial lamb in the first week of his first Challenge, something snapped and Johnny transformed himself into one of, if not the most dastardly players in Challenge history. He doesn’t have the physical gifts (or steroid sources) to dominate on the field, but Johnny lives to forge alliances. For this reason he thrived on The Island, where the actual competitions were secondary to putting together one’s boat. Will Johnny be able to steer himself to another win?

Prediction: Everyone will hate him again, including his own teammates.

Kenny
Original Season: Fresh Meat
Previous Challenges: The Duel, The Inferno 3*, The Gauntlet III, The Island*
Some of the folks that MTV brought in for Fresh Meat to re-stock the pool of players from which they could draw moved on with their lives after that 1 time. Not Kenny. He has truly taken the ball and run with it, participating in every Challenge save The Duel 2 since his initial season. That's probably because this guy is, quite possibly, the dumbest man in America and has 0% chance of ever getting a real job. That kind of future is the source of the desperation necessary to become a great Challenge player. Last time around, Kenny got involved with the newly-single Johanna. The big question for Kenny going into this season: What will happen when the inevitable conflict with Wes rolls around.
Prediction: Wes tears Kenny's head clean off.

Syrus
Original Season: Real World Boston
Previous Challenges: Extreme Challenge*, Battle of the Sexes, The Inferno, The Gauntlet 2
You have to love this guy, if only for the fact that he used his resemblance to Mo Vaughn to get the most lovin' of any roommate in the Boston house during his Real World run. Absent from The Challenge for a while (apparantly he didn't get the memo that you have to use 'roids to win these days), Syrus comes to Thailand as the oldest player in the cast. Will he be able to use his age to his advantage?

Prediction: Broken hip.

Wes
Original Season: Real World Austin
Previous Challenges: Fresh Meat, The Duel*
Though Wes has only participated in The Challenge twice, you could make the case that he is the greatest player in its history. In Fresh Meat he would have won had he not been saddled with Casey as a partner, and he simply dominated The Duel. During that season, he took out Derrick in probably the single greatest elimination round ever, as they battled in 'Pole Wrestle' for close to 30 minutes before Wes finally emerged triumphant. At that point we declared "the King is dead; long live the King," as it looked like Wes was set to go on an unprecedented run. But after winning the final, Wes declared that the only reason he came was to get money to marry Johanna. He hasn't been seen on The Challenge since...but Johanna has - single. We can't be sure why Wes has elected to return after missing the last 4 Challenges, but one thing's for sure: He won't do it half-assed.
Prediction: The only man who can take out Evan...except they're on the same team. In other words, total domination unless he gets sent home for killing Kenny.

The Challengers

Brianna
Original Season: Real World Hollywood
Previous Challenges: Rookie
You might remember Brianna as the crazy stripper with the abusive boyfriend. This girl is built like a twig and does NOT appear to have what it takes to survivie in the dog-eat-dog world of The Challenge.
Prediction: The twig snaps, as twigs are wont to do.

Casey
Original Season: Fresh Meat
Previous Challenges: Fresh Meat, The Duel, The Gauntlet III
Casey is one of our favorites here at the 4th Major Sport. Not because she’s a good player; in fact she is almost certainly the WORST to have ever finished in the money (courtesy of Wes basically carrying her on his back for an entire season). No, we love her because she is so ridiculously afraid of heights. And because she was caught climbing naked out of Johnny Bananas’ room. And for proudly declaring that she used her 2nd place money from Fresh Meat to get breast implants. It's good to have her back!
Prediction: Cries during any/all Challenges involving heights.

Diem
Original Season: Fresh Meat
Previous Challenges: Fresh Meat, The Duel, The Gauntlet III, The Duel 2
Diem first endeared herself to the American public when she courageously competed in Fresh Meat despite a recent diagnosis of Overian cancer. She then increased our national obsession with her by coming back for The Duel after chemo, sans hair. Unfortunately she then began dating the man we love to hate, CT himself. What exactly this otherwise very nice girl saw in that douche is a mystery for the ages. Yet Diem seems to have moved on after CT hooked up with Shauvon during The Duel 2 in response to her desire to do something crazy like develop a career of some sort. Diem has historically coasted along under the radar, only to pop up every now and then and pull off an impressive performance. Will this be the season she breaks through for a win?

Prediction: Will somehow avoid the Ruins for weeks on the strength of hair flips alone.

KellyAnne
Original Season: Real World Sydney
Previous Challenges: The Island

KellyAnne pulled off the upset of The Island when she outlasted Rachel in an elimination round. Unfortunately she also made an enemy in Johnny Bananas and couldn't withstand the onslaught of hatred that he brought down upon her. Also unfortunate was her decision to get the standard Challenge terrible boob job, ruining an otherwise perfect physique.

Prediction: A backslide with Cohutta.

Kim
Original Season: Real World Hollywood
Previous Challenges: The Duel 2
Last time around, Kim destroyed Paula’s game by swooping in from out of nowhere to snatch Dunbar away from her, throwing Paula into a tailspin. This led to one of the lewdest moments in Challenge history during the Reunion, when Kim admitted that before she started pursuing Dunbar, she “didn’t like b******s, but now I like them!” Classy gal. I’m sure her parents were thrilled that she mentioned that on national television. Competition wise, Kim surprised many during The Duel 2, taking out the highly-regarded Ruthie. She will not be taken lightly this time around.
Prediction: Continues to make her parents proud.

Sarah
Original Season: Real World Brooklyn
Previous Challenges: Rookie
Apparantly Sarah is the first Challenge participant to admit that she only wanted to get on the Real World so that she could later participate in the Challenge. Though we at the 4th Major Sport appreciate that somebody is finally admitting that the Real World is now basically a farm system for the Challenge, that kind of honesty won’t serve her well in this competition.

Prediction: First to go home.

Shauvon
Original Season: Real World Sydney
Previous Challenges: The Island, The Duel 2

Shauvon was last seen returning from the roof with CT during the premiere of The Duel 2, post coitus. This total skank has apparantly been writing a book on relationships! First lesson: Don't bang some guy on the roof of a building where 2 dozen people are living with you, including the guy's ex-girlfriend.

Prediction: Boob jokes a-plenty.

Adam
Original Season: Real World Paris
Previous Challenges: Battle of the Sexes 2, The Gauntlet 2, The Gauntlet III, The Duel 2
Adam was sadly booted off The Duel 2 before even a single challenge had taken place, but his fight with CT has to go down as the single greatest confrontation in Challenge history. A 10 year history of bad blood dating back to their days as Paris roommates came to a boil as Adam finally stood up to Mr. Tamburello. Unfortunately he almost had his head taken off as a result and ran away in his PJs. Adam may not have won any money in The Duel 2, but his sudden growth of a spine makes him a slightly more formidable player. But then again he still weighs about 120 lbs. soaking wet.
Prediction: As in his freestyle rap in Paris, Adam will continue to "not hide from [his] family pride!"

Brad
Original Season: Real World San Diego
Previous Challenges: Battle of the Sexes 2, The Inferno II, The Gauntlet 2, The Duel, The Gauntlet III, The Duel 2

Brad is, indisputably, the Sergio Garcia of The Challenge - the best player never to have won The Challenge (BPNTHWTC). Last time around he engaged in a race for the ages with Evan, only to come up mere seconds shy of victory. Looking to get some cash for his upcoming wedding with the Lovely Tori, Brad is a competitor to be feared by one and all. Woe to the member of the Champion team who comes up against him in an elimination.

Prediction: Leads the Challenger team valiently but ultimately comes up short yet again.

Cohutta
Original Season: Real World Sydney
Previous Challenges:
The most country-fried of all Challenge players, Cohutta has yet to advance very far in the competition. Consensus is that he's a hell of a nice guy, but he has yet to jump on board with the 'roids and make himself a viable challenger. It could be that he's just in it for the good times and the ladies. Frankly, that's OK with us.
Prediction: That deep Georgia accent gets him plenty of tail.

Chet
Original Season: Real World Brooklyn
Previous Challenges: Rookie

When we last saw Chet, he was on the Real World desperately trying to convince everyone that he's not gay. Granted, I tell everyone the same thing when I am too chicken to kiss a girl at the end of a date, but the difference between Chet and I is that I don't wear SCARVES on said date. You can't really blame Chet, though, as he is a Mormon and would probably be shot if he came out.

Prediction: Chet will get nervous when he looks around and realizes that nobody else is the token gay guy.

Danny
Original Season: Real World Austin
Previous Challenges: Fresh Meat, The Inferno III, The Gauntlet 3
Danny is a classic Mass-hole, and may also take credit (blame?) for introducing the Fidel Castro hat to the American viewing public. Somehow this jackass showed up in Austin and was able to sweep the lovely Melinda off her feet, and eventually get her to marry him. Huh? Did I miss something? This guy is a total douche! Danny was also one of the first Challenge players to respond to an early elimination in his rookie season by…well…going out and getting a bunch of steroids. Seriously, this guy put on about 100 lbs. of pure muscle after Fresh Meat. And he became even more likely to fly off the handle over any little thing. Where I come from, we call that ‘roid-rage, but in the Challenge that’s just getting on an even playing field with the rest of these freaks of nature.

Prediction: Gets made fun of for his bacne and then breaks something.

Dunbar
Original Season: Real World Sydney
Previous Challenges: The Island, The Duel 2

It's really fortuitous that Dunbar's name is so close to the word nutbar, because that's what he is. He'll just chill out for a while and then, BOOM, he'll fly off the handle about who-knows-what. Yet somehow this kook has been acknowledged by many of the females as the most desirable man in The Challenge. I guess there's no accounting for taste.

Prediction: Kicked off after a destructive outburst based on someone putting a red sock in a load of his whites.

Nick
Original Season: Real World Hollywood
Previous Challenges: The Duel 2
Nick was summarily booted off The Duel 2 in the first round, failing to realize that rookies are ganged up on in this sport as in no other. And to be honest I really have no other memory of him from that Challenge or from his late-arrival to the Real World.
Prediction: Improves on his first Challenge…but how could he not?

Your Host

TJ Lavin
Previous Challenges: The Gauntlet II, Fresh Meat, The Duel, The Inferno III, The Gauntlet 3, The Island, The Duel 2

Evidently TJ Lavin is some kind of BMX bike rider. I wouldn’t know because it seems to me that all he does is host season after season of The Challenge. Remember when Johnny Mosely was the host? Or Dave Mirra? I didn’t think so, because TJ has so completely taken over the role that it’s difficult to imagine the days when somebody else filled the position.
Prediction: TJ will tell everyone that they "killed it."

Return of the Challenge!

It's a great day to be an American. Why, you ask? Because in just 2 weeks, we are to be treated to the premiere of the 18th season of the single greatest television show ever created: The Real World / Road Rules Challenge! When I first saw this show in 1999 at the ripe old age of 16, I had no idea how much it would fulfill me over the next decade. You might wonder what it is about this admittedly low-brow TV show that makes it my favorite program of all-time. The list is too long for publication, but some of the reasons are as follows:

• Badly-done breast implants
• Rampant alcoholism
• 'Roid rage
• Fights for no apparent reason
• America's stupidest young people destroying their resumés, and coming back year after year to do it again
• TJ Lavin telling people "congratulations, you killed it" right after they get eliminated
• The back-stabbing and double-dealing of alliance members
• How everyone grossly over-estimates their own athletic ability, repeatedly declaring "I'm a strong competitor!" while chain-smoking and downing bottle after bottle of booze

In light of the Challenge's triumphant return, I decided that I have to record my thoughts on "the Ruins" for posterity's sake.

The setting: Thailand. All I know about Thailand is that my cousin-in-law is from there and the food is considered way hipper than Chinese food. And that is all that I will continue to know about Thailand because we shouldn't expect any great cultural lessons from this show.

More importantly, what are the rules of this new format? By now we're all so familiar with "the Gauntlet," "the Inferno," and "the Dual" that the rules scarcely need repeating. But every once in a while the good folks at MTV throw us a new version of the Challenge that goes in a totally different direction ("Fresh Meat," "the Island"). One hopes that "the Ruins" will blow our minds in the same manner.

The two teams are "the Champions," players who have won at least 1 previous Real World / Road Rules Challenge, and "the Challengers," players who have never won. These teams will face off each week in a team challenge, for which the winning squad will receive $20,000 to be put away in each players "bank account," split evenly.



Before the team round, each team will nominate 3 men and 3 women from their own group as possible eliminate candidates. Those 6 will then serve as their team's "match-makers," selecting from the other team's group of 6 which man and which woman will be sent to "the Ruins," aka the individual elimination round. So really it's "the Gauntlet" with a new name. The main difference is the risk/reward aspect of going into "the Ruins," as the player who wins will walk off with everything in the loser's bank account. Which basically rips off "the Island." But I'm willing to give Bunim / Murray Productions the benefit of the doubt and not say that they're just repeating their Greatest Hits.



It's unclear how many players will advance to the finale, but I'd be shocked if it wasn't some kind of marathon race with elements from each elimination format put in. And it will all come down to the puzzle. And your whole team has to cross the finish line to win.



Next week, the 4th Major Sport will introduce the cast, with background info and preseason predictions. But for now, to whet your appetite for what's to come, check out MTV's trailer for "the Ruins": http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/431167/rw-rr-challenge-the-ruins-trailer.jhtml#id=1619551